Parenting is hard but what’s most difficult for me is watching my kids grow up in what seems like the blink of an eye. One second you’re their best friend, they’re showing tons of affection and come to you whenever they have a problem. And then one day, out of nowhere, they’re shutting themselves in their room, everything you do as a parent embarrasses them and they think social media holds the answers to all things. And that’s when you know you’ve reached the teenage years where attitudes and know-it-all demeanors run rampid. Asif the mood swings and eye rolls aren’t enough, as their parents, we’re tasked with helping them build and maintain their self confidence. All while hormonal acne rears its ugly head. It’s not an easy feat at all.

My oldest, CJ, has taken a very serious interest in his grooming routine but has really grown obsessed with his skin health. Before he hit puberty, his skin was very clear and super smooth (like most pre-pubescent kids). But very shortly after he turned 13 and puberty started to kick in, CJ had pimples and blackheads everywhere. And as his skin worsened, his self-confidence took a huge hit.

Like most moms, when your child has a problem, especially one that makes them feel bad about themselves, you immediately jump into fix-it mode and do everything you can to put a smile back on their face. So, that’s exactly what I tried to do. I ran to the drugstore nearly every week and purchased anything I could that could help my baby’s skin. We tried EVERYTHING but nothing worked. I felt defeated, he felt defeated and we both had no clue what to do. A couple weeks later, Curology reached out to me and asked if CJ wanted to try their customized skincare products and we jumped on the chance.

The process was simple. All CJ had to do was go on the Curology site, answer a few questions about his skin and the issues he was having, and take pictures of his skin. Within days his personal skincare provider sent over a detailed skin care plan and custom formula that targeted all the problems CJ was dealing with. We received his first order by the end of the week and it came with a cleanser, moisturizer and custom formula serum.

The results so far have been great. He’s been using the product for a month and a half and his breakouts have lessened significantly. At the one month mark his personal skincare provider sent over a questionnaire to make sure we were seeing results and if not, they would adjust the formula to better fit our needs. But so far we’ve had no complaints! My baby’s skin is clearing and glowing which has given his self confidence a much needed positive boost!

Wanna give Curology a try for yourself? Click here to receive your first month’s order free, all you have to do is pay for shipping and handling! And if you’re not satisfied after 90 days, you’ll get your money back. #MomWin

This post is sponsored by Curology.

We’re back! And today we’re talking about the specific supplements I use to remove dangerous toxins and metals from Ashton’s system! If you have not read Steps 1-4, please go back and read those first. Once again, I am not a doctor. Just a mom sharing her son’s journey and what I did to help him make such big strides in his development. Please consult with your child’s pediatrician before introducing these vitamins.

By now, if you’ve been following the steps I took with Ashton, you hopefully have received your child’s metal toxicity test results. If your child has a high level of metals in their system, this post is specifically for you. Now, if you’re like me, you panicked the moment you started reading the results. 1. The results can be a little confusing to understand 2. Once you do understand the results, it can be a little terrifying that your child has so much yucky stuff in their system. But don’t you worry. You got this. Just take a deep breath, pour yourself a glass of wine and calm down. Everything will be ok.

Typically when you find a large amount of metals in someone’s body, chelation therapy is used to help with the issue. Chelation is a chemical process in which a substance is used to bind metals or minerals so they can be excreted from the body. In the book Fight Autism and Win, they use a more intense chelation therapy that many parents have seen success with. But that process takes a lot of patience, sleepless nights and biweekly treatments that need to be given every 3 hours for 72 hours. As a mom of three and a full time entrepreneur, I knew that was not a good fit for me or my family. So I had to find another way.

A member of the momma tribe introduced me to the company BioRay. After doing my research about the company, I knew they were a perfect match. Their BioRay Kids line supports “the removal of toxins while replenishing specific organ systems that help kids deal with the modern stressors we have today”. They focus on gently and safely removing unwanted metals from you child’s system while protecting the liver where all of the metals get flushed out. AND all their products are organic, alcohol free, non-GMO, non-dairy, soy-free and gluten free.

I am in no way affiliated with them so please understand that my love for their products is solely based on how much they have helped my baby boy. Best part is I literally just add the drops to his juice in the morning and at dinner.

Even though their main goal is to remove metals and toxins, BioRay Kids has 7 different products in the line- Calm, Tummy, Focus, Happy, Immune, Sleepy and Pooper that help tackle other effects of metal toxicity. Every child is different so you may not need all 7. For instance, Ashton only uses 3- Calm, Tummy, Focus. You’ll have to go their site and research all the different drops to figure out which are the best fit for your child. Since we only use three, I’ll tell you why we use those specific drops for Ashton and how they help outside of just removing toxins.

If you’d like to purchase the specific drops I use for Ashton, click here to visit my Amazon Shop.  As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

BioRay Kids Calm–

Binds to and removes toxins, supports healthy moods, restores emotional balance, restful sleep and helps kids deal with stress (according to the site).

It’s very common that children with autism have a difficult time expressing their emotions in a typical fashion. This is where stimming comes in to play. The way Ashton stims is by flapping his arms. The more excited ashton is, the more he flaps. And sometimes that can be frustrating for him because he wants to tell us how he feels but he literally can’t contain his excitement.

Calm hasn’t made his stimming subside all together but it has reduced how often he stims. It has also helped his body to calm down enough that he can now use his words to express his feelings as well. If I forget to reorder and we run out, after a day of no Calm drops, the stimming becomes more frequent again.

BioRay Kids Belly–

Binds to and removes toxins, supports gastrointestinal and immune function, and enhances speech (according to the site).

This is my favorite of their drops because it specifically focuses on the gut and is chocked full of probiotics. And as you’ll see, when we get around to talking about Ashton’s diet, good gut health is one of the most important factors in your body functioning properly.

Ashton is an extremely hyper child. He literally never sits still (even while he’s eating) and is always jumping around. And after a bit of research I realized that it is very common that hyper children have yeast overgrowths in their guts that can affect many many things including their mood and behavior.

The #1 sign that tells me that Ashton is having an issue with yeast overgrowth (other than him running around like a chicken with his head cut off) is Ashton will start licking his hands. That’s normally a sign that someone gave him something that was not a part of his diet and his body has turned it into yeast:( Once I see that, I double up on the drops. It fixes the problem in about 24 hours tops. And even though he’s still super active, he’s no where near the Tasmanian Devil level he was previously at.

This also contains vitamins that help improve speech and has absolutely helped Ashton in that department.

BioRay Kids Focus-

Binds to and removes toxins and has additional ingredients that sharpen the mind and promote steady, focused energy (according to the site).

Before taking these supplements, Ashton couldn’t sit through a TV  show without getting bored 2 minutes in. So sitting through a school lesson or puzzle wasn’t something he was capable of doing. These drops have not only helped Ashton’s concentration and focus, it’s also helped me get in a bit of free time here and there because I can give him an activity that he’ll actually sit and do it! Mom Win!

All of these drops should be introduced one by one. We waited two weeks before introducing each new drop to make sure he didn’t have any adverse reactions and we didn’t want to overload his system.

What to Expect

You also need to be very patient when looking for results. It took us about two months before we started seeing changes and three-four months for him to start talking but then all of the sudden the progress was mind blowing. Remember that the key here is that we want to gently and safely remove the toxins. And because flushing metals can be tough on the liver,  you want to make sure you don’t rush it.

If your child has very heavy metal levels, it may take longer than that. But the best thing I did was I continued reading to Ashton, playing with him, doing flashcards with him- even when he seemed to not pay attention. And once he did start to communicate, everything I thought he was ignoring came spewing out. It’s like his tiny brain was still absorbing all of that info I was giving him. He just didn’t know how to process and communicate it.

Be patient momma. You got this, Boo:)

Ok! We are finally getting into the nitty gritty of Ashton’s autism journey- his vitamins and supplements. I’m going to break this up into three different blogs because there is a long list and you don’t want to introduce them all to your child at once. If you have not read Steps 1-3, please go back and read those first. Once again, I am not a doctor. Just a mom sharing her son’s journey and what I did to help him make such big strides in his development. Please consult with your child’s pediatrician before introducing these vitamins.

Because every child is different and I’m not a doctor, I can’t give you specific dosage amounts. If you purchased the Fight Autism & Win book I recommended a few posts back, they give dose recommendations. I do not give Ashton the amount they recommend because I believe it’s a bit excessive, however, the book is a great starting point. It is all about doing research for each specific vitamin and understanding what works best for your child.

While we waited for Ashton’s metal toxicity reports to come back, I started him on a few vitamins that would help any child regardless of a diagnosis or not. I give him his vitamins three times a day mixed with organic apple juice and Fiji water (Fiji water has natural properties that help remove toxins from the system). Every Sunday, I crush all of Ashton’s vitamins and divide them into a pill organizer for the week.  Not gonna lie, it’s annoying AF to sit there crushing pills for like 15 minutes but it’s 100% worth it so I power through it.

If you’d like to see the specific brands and tools I use for Ashton, click here to visit my Amazon Shop.  As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Magnesium

Magnesium helps so much with a ton of the body’s functions- energy creation, protein formation, gene maintenance, muscle movements, nervous system regulation- a lot. But the main reason this is Ashton’s daily vitamin list is because magnesium plays a critical role in brain function and most importantly it helps with sleep irregularities, frequent outbursts, anxiety and irritability. In a nutshell, it helps calm Ashton down because he is super hyper child with tons of energy. If I skip giving Ashton magnesium for just one day, he is like the Tasmanian devil the next day.

Zinc

Zinc is such an important supplement for a child’s growth and development. Children’s bodies need so much more zinc than an adult because they burn through a lot of zinc especially during growth spurts. It also plays a big role in immunity, healing, gut health, mood and behavior. Before we started Ashton on his vitamin regimen, he would grind his teeth incessantly. After introducing him to zinc, that stopped within a week.

Vitamin C

Vitamin C is a common vitamin that has been widely promoted for decades because of it’s antioxidants that help the body ward off diseases and battle viruses. But it also strengthening bones and tissues, keeps gums healthy and helps the body better absorb other supplements.

Echinacea

Echinacea is something my dad got me hip to from a very young age. If I ever felt a tickle in the back of my throat and could tell I was getting a cold, I would pop a couple echinacea vitamins throughout the day and it almost always cleared everything right up. Since Ashton does not get the flu shot, I want to make sure that his immune system is well supported. But that is not all Echinacea is good for. It also helps to reduce inflammation, can help with constipation and has calming properties.

Side note- I have a neutral view on vaccines as one of my children is fully vaccinated and the other is not due to past reactions to vaccines. My personal opinion is that vaccines affect each child in differently. This is such a sensitive topic that I choose to avoid discussing it. But please know that I do not judge any mother for her choice in vaccinating/not vaccinating.

Multivitamin

This one is a no-brainer but it is very important to find a great multivitamin for your child. I love Mary Ruth’s Organic and actually use their adult multivitamin for myself.

Alright, so that’s it for part 1 of vitamin introduction! I truly hope this blog series is helpful for you all!

Ok! We’re back! I know it’s been a while but life has been crazy around here! Anyway, let’s get to it!

If you’re following the steps I took with Ashton, you may have already seen your pediatrician and/or monitored/recorded your child’s daily behavior and foods for two weeks (see part 2). Now we can finally start to get to the nitty gritty of the process- metal toxicity. Now before we get into this, I’d like to remind you again that I am not at all a doctor. Just a mother sharing my son’s autism journey and what we’re doing to get him to reach important milestones. Please consult with your physician before you attempt any of this with your own child.

Because I’m not a doctor or a specialist, I’m going to sum up the theory of metal toxicity and how it can cause autism-like symptoms as best as I can. But please make sure to take this information and do your own research so you can get a full understanding of what it means.

It’s no secret that autism is becoming more and more common with each generation. And many researchers have suggested that the main cause is not autism at all but children being more heavily exposed to toxic metals that cause austistic-like symptoms. The theory is that excessive metals settle in certain areas of the body (particularly the brain and blood), and that prevents parts of the body from functioning properly. More specifically, it causes the body to exhibit behaviors that are very similar to certain autistic traits. The problem is, many doctors simply don’t agree with this theory and believe that a child is born autistic and environmental factors have nothing to do with it. So it can be tricky and a little costly to find out if your little one has a metal toxicity.

When I first heard of this theory I was super skeptical but at the same time, I was desperate. The doctors gave Ashton a diagnosis, handed me a pamphlet and sent us on our way. No other information, words of encouragement or anything. She just delivered the news and rolled out like she didn’t just give me life changing, devastating news. So when I was told about metal toxicity, how you could safely remove those toxins and get your baby back on track- I knew it was worth a try. I delved a little deeper to find out more, doing tons of research and was overwhelmed with success stories of parents who put their children on a specific diet and began a process of chelation therapy (the process of bonding metals in the system and removing them from the body) and their children were thriving.

Welp. That’s all I needed to hear. I knew I was going to do it. But before I could start, I had to make sure that Ashton did, in fact, have a metal toxicity. I can’t stress this enough- DO NOT BEGIN ANY TYPE OF CHELATION THERAPY BEFORE GETTING YOUR CHILD TESTED FIRST. It’s very important and can be dangerous if you jump the gun.

There are three ways to test for metals in the body- a hair test, a saliva test and a blood test. A blood test can only be ordered by a doctor and, like I said earlier, most doctors don’t agree with this theory so we’re left with hair and saliva. These are the two companies I used for Ashton’s testing. (I have no affiliation with these companies whatsoever. Just sharing who I used. Please do your own research beforehand).

Hair elements test: https://www.holisticheal.com/hair-elements-test.html

This test was great because their doctor reviewed the results and made suggestions for each metal. There was also another section that went into full detail of each metal Ashton had excessive amounts of, where it could likely come from and how to help manage it. (I’ve attached some pictures from Ashton’s results below.)

This is the saliva test we used: https://maxgenlabs.com/collections/genetic-testing-kits/products/maxfunction

The MaxFunction Panel provides information from your DNA, provides you with very detailed and thorough report of your child’s health, antioxidant production, detoxification process for hormones, chemicals, and heavy metals, neurotransmitters and the balancing of brain chemistry, diet recommendations- it’s incredible. So incredible that I’m actually going to get myself and CJ test as well. Here are a few pictures from Ashton’s reports.

Ok! So that’s pretty much step 3 of our journey. Getting Ashton tested! Next week I’ll tell you all about all the vitamins I put Ashton on before the chelation process to get his body ready to support his liver while removing all of the yucky stuff he had in his system.

Please let me know below if this series has been helpful to you all! I want to make sure I’m covering as much as possible:)

And we’re back! Welcome to Step 2 in Ashton’s Journey through Autism (for Step 1 click here) I hope you all are ready to take notes and get to work! And always remember that I am not a doctor. I’m just a mom sharing what I did with my child to achieve progress and results.

Before we dive into diets and supplements, you’ll want to sit down and observe your child to better understand their routines, triggers, and behaviors. I did this for a week with Ashton. From the moment he woke up to the time he went to bed, I observed him, recorded everything, and then did it again the next day. From that information, I was able to start mapping out a clear plan of action. So, your task this week is to record, observe and repeat for an entire week.

I can’t stress enough how important this step is. Not only does this help you better understand your child and create a plan, but it will also help your child’s therapists and doctors form a very tailored and specific therapy plan. Over the coming weeks, I will break down how I tackled every topic on this list to help Ashton make better progress. Ok. Let’s do this. Here’s what you’ll need to record:

Sleeping schedule- This is the most straightforward task to record, but it’s essential. “Half of children who have autism have trouble falling or staying asleep, which may make their symptoms worse.”-spectrumnews.org. That makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? A typical child who doesn’t get a good night’s rest usually is cranky and grumpy in the morning. So if an autistic child is having a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep regularly, this could be a considerable hindrance in their development and progress.

So pull out that old baby monitor and plop it right next to your toddler’s bed. Watch it after you put them in the bed and record how long it took them to fall asleep. Record the exact time they wake up and how long it takes for them to get up and find you. The same goes for naptime. After I did this with Ashton, I was surprised to find out that two nights out of that week, he woke up at around 2 am, played in his room, and then went back to sleep only to wake up at 6:30 am. The following day he was all over the place, threw multiple temper tantrums, and wouldn’t focus at all. I had no clue this was going on until I monitored his sleep.

Food- It’s a known fact that what you put into your body can heavily affect your day-to-day behaviors and the way your body functions. However, how an autistic child’s diet can contribute to their daily behaviors and body functions has become a controversial topic. I have spoken to doctors who say what a child eats does not affect their behavior. And I’ve talked to dozens of mothers and holistic doctors who suggest that gluten, dairy, and sugar (amongst other things) negatively affect a child’s behavior and focus. So, I took matters into my own hands and tested it on Ashton.

I recorded everything he ate for the week, and on two of those days, I removed gluten entirely. Once the week was complete, I reviewed my notes and noticed that he was a little calmer on the gluten-free days, and we had better success when it came to his focus. It was not a huge change, but it was noticeable enough for me to delve a little deeper.

I didn’t want to jump the gun; after all, it could’ve very well been just a coincidence. So I did an additional two weeks of gluten-free food for Ashton. And you know what? Not only was his focus improving, but his behavior was calming as well. Even his teachers at daycare were shocked at how a change in his diet could help so much. Now, this didn’t fix all of our problems, and we still had a long way to go, but it was a welcomed small victory to celebrate.

Before you decide to take your baby gluten-free, first start monitoring their diet and how it affects them. Next, speak to their doctor and get their advice. Just because this worked for us doesn’t mean it will work for everyone. As I said earlier, this is a very controversial topic, so make sure you do your research before diving off the deep end.

Stimming- You might notice that your child flaps their hands, rocks back and forth, spins, repeats words and phrases, and/or other repetitive behaviors regularly. This type behavior is often called stimming. The term  is short for self-stimulatory behavior. Although it can be a little nerve-racking to witness, it’s your child’s way of demonstrating emotion, or it can even be a coping mechanism for them. Some children stim all day long, while others only under certain circumstances.

Side note: I can’t stress this enough- do not stop your child while they are stimming unless it is causing them physical harm. Imagine if someone told you a hilarious joke, so you naturally started to laugh. But then someone else came to you and told you to stop laughing. You weren’t doing anything wrong. You were just reacting to a funny situation and your body was expressing how you feel. That’s how it feels to an autistic person when you try to stop them from stimming. We’ll talk more in-depth about this in another post.

So you’ll want to record all the instances that your child stims, how long it lasts, and what happened right before they stimmed. That way, you can get a better idea of what (if anything) triggers their stimming in the first place. For instance, Ashton flaps his hands but only when he’s excited. It’s almost as if when he gets happy, he feels it from the tips of his fingers to the bottoms of his toes. And flapping his hands and standing on his tiptoes is how his body expresses that emotion. He can very clearly express all other feelings, but joy and excitement are shown with his whole body.

Unusual Interests or Behaviors- Does your child line toys up? Is fascinated by fans or clocks? Loves spinning wheels on cars? Obsessed with a particular toy or item? Doesn’t pretend play? Gets upset by minor changes? Grind their teeth? Sensory issues? Covers their ears often? Bang their head to go to sleep? Write. It. Down. These are all questions their doctor and therapists are going to ask you. So get a head start on the answers.

The last thing you’ll want to record is what excites your child the most. Particularly something that they choose to focus on for more than 5 minutes. This is crucial for when we cover how to teach your child. For example, Ashton is obsessed with all things animals.  Majority of his day is spent identifying animals, watching animal movies or playing with his animal toys. So, I took what he loves and incorporated it into how I teach him. Now I can get him to sit and pay attention for a little longer than usual and he’s actually excited to learn.

Alright, Mommas. So now you have your assignment for this week. It’s going to feel redundant and obsessive some days, but I promise it will not only help you to better understand your child and pick-up on patterns/routines you didn’t notice before, but it will also help you breakdown the specific areas where they need help. So pick a week and stick to it. PS. This really helped me to understand Ashton’s potty schedule too! #MomWin

First of all, take a deep breath. Breathe in… breathe out… everything is going to be ok.

Is your baby not reaching their milestones on time? Non-verbal? Not making eye contact? Flapping their arms? Won’t interact with other kids or adults? Or do you just feel in your gut that something isn’t right? If you said yes to any of those, than bring it in and give me a virtual hug. This shit is stressful AF and I know EXACTLY how you feel right now. I’ve been there before. So I’m going to do my very best to share all of the information, resources and tools I’ve discovered during our journey through Ashton’s autism so that your journey can be a little easier.

Let me first start by saying that I understand how you feel right now. I know that you are confused, overwhelmed, exhausted and sad. This is your baby so of course you are a clusterfuck of emotions. And you know what?  Go ahead and cry it out, scream into a pillow or down an entire bottle of wine. Take some time to process your emotions. When I first realized that something was up with Ashton, I was completely devastated. I remember I just sat there for a couple days, looking at Ashton and crying. I didn’t take my prenatal vitamins like I should’ve when I was pregnant with him- is this my fault? Is he ever gonna have a normal life? Get married? Have kids? Are people going to make fun of him? Is he going to live with me forever? I was a mess. So, I get it.

Now once you’ve had some time to ugly cry uncontrollably in the shower (guilty), it’s time to wipe away those tears, put on your momma cape and get to work. It’s time to give your baby the happiest, brightest future possible. And over the next couple weeks, I’m going to show you where to start and how I am helping my son catch up on milestones and make huge progress.

We’ll go over the diet, supplements and exercises but we need to start with the basics. So this week we’ll discuss step one which is fairly easy- schedule an appointment with your child’s pediatrician. Very often, especially with first time parents, we freak out when they miss a milestone and automatically think the worst. So go see the doctor, express your concerns and let them assess your child. They might even come back and say that everything is fine because it is very common for children to miss a milestone or two and then catch up in a couple of weeks. However, if they agree that something is up, you’ll have two tasks before you leave the doctor’s office:

1. Get a referral for a developmental pediatrician.

It can often take months to get in with a developmental pediatrician so the earlier you get in, the better. Schedule an appointment as soon as you leave the doctor’s office.

2. Get a referral for your states free Infant & Toddler program.

Every state in the US offers a free program for children with developmental delays, autism and other developmental disabilities. I’ve met many people whose children were enrolled in the program and after a couple of months, their child was caught up on all milestones. This isn’t the case for everyone (wasn’t for Ashton) but it is free therapy and assistance that your baby wasn’t getting before.  And that is so damn helpful.

So now you have your first steps. Next week we’ll go over the dietary changes I made for Ashton that have helped tremendously. Please remember that this is not an overnight process and what worked for my child might not work for everyone. I am not a doctor or specialist in this field. I am just a mom who is sharing her story and process. And I’m praying that you see gains and growth with your little just like I did.

Now bring it in and give me another hug. It’s going to be ok. You got this:)

Christmas season is my absolute favorite time of year. Not just because of all of the Christmas cheer and love, but because of the traditions. Trimming the tree is my favorite of all the traditions. One year, when I was 4 years old, we almost didn’t have a tree.  My mom not only saved Christmas, she made it even better than expected. I know you have questions, so let me explain.

We didn’t grow up with a lot of money at all, but that never stopped my parents from giving us the best damn childhood filled with magical memories. My dad was great, but my mom was basically the Steve Jobs of crafts. She would find things around the house to make anything her little heart desired. If she didn’t have the money to buy something for us, she’d just make it.

Many times my mom had to improvise on the things we needed/wanted and the Christmas tree fell in to the category a few times. Once, we were very tight on cash, so my mom cut a tree out of a large cardboard box, colored it with green crayon and balled up pieces of aluminum foil to adorn the “tree” as ornaments. She leaned it against the corner in the living room and held it up with other boxes. POW! Instant Christmas tree.

Another time, again on a tight budget, my mom decided to go for a more avant-garde tree that was not only ahead of the trends, but also super frugal. She got my sisters and I in the car, told us we were going to “pick out a Christmas tree” and then drove us to the woods behind our townhouse complex. Confused, we followed her out of the car, she passed us each plastic grocery bag and told us to collect pine cones while she looked for the “tree”. We did what she told us even though we didn’t have a clue what the hell she was about to do.

After a while, she came back to us when a long, thin branch and said, “OK guys, I found the tree!” Come again? You found the what? We laughed because we thought this clearly had to be a joke. But no. She was serious. She took the “tree” home, spray painted it and the pine cones gold,stuck it in a tree stand and had the nerve to drape lights from it. Jesus, take the wheel. Although we were thoroughly mortified when our friends came over,it’s still one of my fondest Christmas memories.

P.S. My mom is so ahead of the times that the same branches and pine cones she made 20+ years ago are now being sold at Home Goods for $30-$40.  So basically, she’s a trendsetter.

My all-time favorite mom save is a story I don’t even really remember because I was only 4 years old at the time. But every time my big sister and mom recall what happened, it reminds me of just how bomb my mom truly is.

As you probably guessed, it was Christmas time. Money was tight and my parents didn’t get paid until Christmas Eve.  They told us that on Christmas Eve we would go pick out our tree and decorate it that night. Problem was, by the time we went out looking for a tree, all the tree lots were either closed or out of trees. My big sis, Bonnie, and I were majorly bummed because we would be going to bed without a Christmas tree.

When we pulled up to our home and my dad opened the garage, both my parents noticed a tiny old Christmas tree shoved in the corner of the storage shelving on the walls. It must’ve been left there from the tenants that were in the home before us. They glanced at each other in excitement, but still kept their cool as to not alert us of what they found. They got us in the bed and my mom told us everything would be fine when we woke up.

My mom is Mexican, so our tradition is to open our gifts at midnight. So she had around 4 hours to work her magic and man did she ever! She had my dad pull the tiny, little tabletop tree from the garage and she set it on a table in the corner of the living room. She gathered all of the decorations she had from the previous years along with the large box of string lights she had purchased earlier that day (she intended on putting them on the tree we weren’t able to get) and she got straight to work.

At midnight, when it was time to wake up and hopefully “catch Santa”, we walked downstairs to what Bonnie describes a “Winter Wonderland”. My mom decorated the hell out of that baby ass tree and then used the remaining lights and ornaments to decorate the entire living room! She had string lights hanging from the ceiling and windows which made the whole room literally glow. It was incredible. She’s incredible.

My mom literally never let us go without a tree no matter how broke we were. Hell, she never let us go without anything no matter how broke we were. I always think about that when trying to build memories with my family. Our childhood memories are the greatest gifts my mom could’ve ever given us.

So start a tradition. Bake cookies with your kids. Have snowball fight. Make a Christmas tree. Anything, really, as long as it involves you and your kids building tradition. The gifts are awesome and so is the food but 20-30 years later, what you’ll cherish the most are the memories.